For many Utah fans, the Jazz drafting Jimmer would be a dream come true. Here are those dreams.
In tonight’s NBA Draft, the Utah Jazz own the number twelve pick and if he’s available, barring a trade, the team will likely select BYU shooting-star Jimmer Fredette to be their combo-guard of the future. If selected, the biggest name in Utah state basketball since Michael Doleac will join Gordon Hayward as part of the Jazz’s very white, yet surprisingly athletic future (plus Paul Millsap). Below are plot descriptions of fake fan fiction inspired by the all-too-real fan fiction that will be written hastily and lustily when Fredette becomes a member of the Utah Jazz.
1) “After a time warp in a fairly priced Salt Lake City family-dining establishment sends our heroes back to 1920s New York, Jimmer and Gordon must match wits against a jazz-man-cum-heroin-pusher while suiting up with a barnstorming basketball team, The Original Celtics, in a match that will determine the very soul, nee creative direction, of Tin Pan Alley. (3,000 words)”
2) “Following a tough road loss to the Los Angeles Clippers, a reflective Gordon enjoys a chance encounter with an old crone who reveals himself to be a powerful wizard. Bestowing our mop-topped hero with the power to turn back time, but leaving him with a warning of the dire consequences that await him should he attempt to change the past, Gordon returns to the 2010 NCAA Title Game to make The Shot once and for all, potentially bringing the universe to an end. But will a last second intervention by Jimmer succeed? (1,700 words)”
3) “During a tour of The National Mall before a night game against the Washington Wizards, Jimmer and Gordon are beset by a mischievous organ-grinder’s monkey and are inadvertently thrust into a dire situation involving a shadowy Spanish Embassy attache and a highly decorated US Naval officer. (6,200 words)”
4) “During a road trip through the Pacific Division, Jimmer and Gordon attempt to foil a human trafficking ring. After a close call in Phoenix following a morning shoot around, the boys soon discover that they themselves have become the targets of the traffickers’s hired assassin, The Puma. A thrilling conclusion during a third quarter TV timeout at the Rose Garden will have you on the edge of your seat. (3,300 words)”
5) “Following the accidental overdose of the the team’s ballboy, a Cub Scout named Peter, Jimmer and Gordon comb police records before coming to a startling conclusion involving a prominent Miami Heat season-ticket holder. (2,700 words)”
6) “Jimmer and Gordon take the case of an orphaned runaway whose connection to a mysterious spate of smotherings leads our heroes into the darkest depths of the traveling rodeo industry. (3,700 words)”
7) “Winter: 1959. In an alternate universe, Jimmer Hayward and Gordan Fredette are two standout baseball players, the promising sons of their small New Mexico town. During a night of necking and sipping nervously from a pilfered bottle of Old Harper during a double date, the couples enjoy the night before spring practices are to begin. Meanwhile, in Mason City, Buddy Holly boards a chartered airplane. (8,500 words)”
—Photo Standard-Examiner/Nicholas Draney; AP
The post The Adventures of Jimmer and Gordy appeared first on The Good Men Project.
